


The Definition of Angel

by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-27
Updated: 2008-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeousnerd/pseuds/Gorgeous%20Nerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An angel is a child of God, and it is a servant of God.  No more, no less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Definition of Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through 4x10. Originally posted on [LiveJournal](http://community.livejournal.com/chomalfoyfics/10997.html) and [Dreamwidth](http://firmament.dreamwidth.org/6104.html).

Castiel is an angel.

The definition of angel isn't the one that popular human culture promotes. It isn't a compassionate spirit helping the needy because they need it, and it certainly isn't a kind or loving presence.

An angel is a child of God, and it is a servant of God. No more, no less.

-

Castiel burns the evil spirits out of bodies, sending the captive humans to their reward earlier than they should have released. He leaves behind a notable amount of corpses, probably too notable in this skeptical scientific world that has come about through the many millennia of trial and error that humanity has had on this Earth.

He does not feel pity for them, although he tells Dean he does. Dean relaxes his muscles when he hears that.

Castiel speaks in the tongues of humanity, and humanity incorporates their feelings into their words. In truth, when he says he feels a certain way, he means that he thinks he would feel that way, if he were human. He has no way of knowing if that's the case or not, but he doesn't worry about adding a caveat or wishing he knew if it was true or not. Humans don't like to dwell on such matters, and Castiel does not agitate them if there is another option.

Uriel once told him that it was God's blessing, to spare them from the business of human feeling.

They wouldn't be able to do their jobs if they could feel, after all.

-

Anna was an angel, past tense. Anna could feel.

Castiel had known before her fall that it was an option to cast away grace and become a different sort of God's child, but it had been an abstraction and nothing he was willing to test. Humanity had many trials, and while there were occasions where he considered what acting as a human would be like, but it certainly didn't occupy his thoughts much.

Lucifer had fallen as well. The comparison between him and Anna was not one a human would want to hear. Certainly, his vessel had felt anxiety when the thought had crossed his mind, and he does not keep his thoughts from those who help him willingly.

That is the only time Castiel experiences emotion of any kind, while inhabiting a human vessel. He doesn't feel, necessarily, but the human translates his thought into emotion, and while the body doesn't act with great emotion, there is more feeling in his words than he could have ever conveyed on his own.

He tells Anna that he is sorry for what he has to do. Pity shapes her face, and Castiel notices its echo in the vessel he uses.

-

Lucifer will break free. It is a fact, and Castiel is told that God acknowledges it as such. However, the angels must act as if Lucifer must not walk the Earth and do their best to prevent it as if it weren't a pre-established fact.

Castiel's vessel knew this, only because Castiel would need his help until the end, and there was no point in keeping it from him. He told Castiel that the feeling such knowledge conjured was despair because there was no hope in changing the outcome, and it was sadness without hope. Castiel marked how much pain the vessel felt and did his best to say comforting words, but they both understood that they were just that: words.

The only time the vessel felt differently was when Castiel was in the presence of the Winchester brothers.

_Hope_, the vessel whispered in his mind. _They give me hope._

Castiel could not feel jealousy. And yet, he knew that if he could feel, the knowledge that humans felt the same way as God would make him jealous. There was no doubt within his mind about this.

There were times he acted like he did feel that jealousy, just to get an idea from the vessel what it would be like if he could. Dean in particular seems to notice that things are different and asks why, but he doesn't get an answer.

Castiel didn't understand why it was so, but getting that glimpse of understanding was just enough to keep going with his job.

The understanding, and the knowledge that Uriel was wrong. Feelings made one no less capable, no more handicapped.

Humans are the children of God, after all.


End file.
